Perfectionism and the Fear of Being ‘Not Enough’: A Psychoanalytic Look
- Dr. Maura Ferguson
- May 23
- 2 min read
For those who can’t turn it off: the psychology behind imposter syndrome, overthinking, overdoing, and never quite arriving

Perfectionism is often mistaken for a strength. It’s praised in job interviews, rewarded in the workplace, and admired by those who benefit from someone else’s attention to detail or tireless effort. But beneath the polished surface, perfectionism often comes at a steep emotional cost. Far from being a harmless trait or a helpful motivator, it can quietly become the enemy of happiness.
From a psychoanalytic perspective, perfectionism is rarely just about wanting to do things well. It's often an unconscious strategy to manage anxiety, avoid shame, or maintain a sense of control. Many perfectionists grew up in environments where love or approval felt conditional—earned through achievement, compliance, or emotional self-sufficiency. Over time, striving for flawlessness becomes a way to feel safe, worthy, or protected from disappointment.
And while the external world may reward this perfectionism—bosses, partners, even therapists may unwittingly reinforce it—it can leave a person feeling chronically tense, never quite good enough, and disconnected from deeper forms of satisfaction. The perfectionist may achieve a great deal, but struggle to enjoy it.
In therapy, perfectionism is explored not just as a behaviour to change, but as a defense with a history. Questions like What emotional risk does “good enough” carry? or Who benefits when you ignore your limits? begin to uncover the hidden logic behind perfectionistic patterns. This kind of exploration doesn’t aim to dismantle someone’s ambition or work ethic—but to separate these from the inner critic that insists they are never enough.
For those who’ve built a life around being the reliable one, the productive one, the one who doesn’t drop the ball—this perspective offers something both clarifying and compassionate: a reminder that your value was never meant to hinge on how perfectly you perform. And that happiness, as it turns out, may not be found in getting it right—but in being more fully and imperfectly yourself.
Our practice works with high-achieving adults who are beginning to question the emotional toll of perfectionism.Through an integrated, relational approach to therapy, we help clients make sense of where these patterns come from—and begin to imagine what a more sustainable, more fulfilling life might look like. To learn more or connect with a therapist, you’re welcome to reach out.
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